My Hope
by Middendorffi
Summary: "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed, James 1:14" Cesare Borgia is tempted indeed, and the fires of hell for such a sin are looking less and less formidible as time goes on. What is a burning of a soul to a burning of the body? How many kinds of flame can lick at one's very being before it consumes? Incest/LucretziaxCesare/lemon
1. Chapter 1- My Hope

**I. My Hope**

_No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man._

_God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability,_

_but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape,_

_that you may be able to endure it._

_**1 Corinthians 10:13**_

"Sis, you are growing too old to be playing these games!" I pant. _How is it that she has just recently birthed a child and can still run just as long as I?_ "Just give it back."

"And why should I, dear brother?" She laughs, moving around the fountain, opposite of me. Lucretzia waves my Cardinal cap in the air, the paleness of her fingers standing out against the blood red. I could retrieve her now, surely, if I only startle her and run quickly around the side of the fountain. But I could never deprive her of any fun she can still have, and her laughter is the highlight of this day. Nay, _all _my days.

"Because, _dear _sister," I follow her movements, circling slowly around the edge of the fountain. "I am a man like any other, and men find themselves easily lost in the chase." She shakes her head, golden curls bouncing with the movement.

"You lie." Lucretzia stops walking and stares straight at me. I always feel as though she can see through me, into my very soul. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat and take note that she has stopped laughing. I must make her laugh again.

I dash around the fountain, and before she can dance out of my reach, I grab her arms, holding them against her sides from behind firmly enough to keep her still. Her hand releases the Cardinal's cap and it falls softly to the floor. I speak into her ear, "And how do I lie, sis?" Her head tilts itself toward me at my words, bringing her ear distractingly close to my mouth.

"You lie with chivalry, do you not?" Her lips sing, bringing a heavy feeling to my heart. _If only_.

There's an opportunity to hear her laugh, so I take it. "I believe her name was Lotte, though I do not believe a whore would have any scruples with being called such." In truth; I have not lain with concubines for many months. I have lost the desire to do so. No woman can compare to the beauty of my little sister, not even a noblewoman. It will pass, this phase, as it always does. I cannot, in the eyes of God, have my sister, and time will wear on _my_ scruples, and I will lie with, and wed, once I escape this Cardinal red, someone lesser, if only to keep my own sanity. But little lies are well worth it, if they make her laugh.

She does laugh, struggling to escape my grip, likely to hit me for my words. "For all your vulgarity, Cesare, I know you to be unlike other men." I release her, and she turns to face me. She takes my hands in hers, running her thumb across them. Her eyes are shining with the warmth of her sincerity. "You are _good_." She continues squeezing my hands, and my spirits sink slightly. She cannot truly think so well of me. Lucretzia knows me better than anyone does.

It is my turn to shake my head, "Who's a liar now?" I smile.

"You mustn't be so hard on yourself, my love." She sighs, a hand reaching up to take my own dark curls in her fingers. I lean into her touch, closing my eyes. I am always so grateful when it is her hands that touch me. It does not feel like something that I should feel guilty for, it is not a sin in the slightest. It is a show of affection from my darling sister.

"I have killed, Lucretzia." I murmur, not willing to open my eyes and see the horror on her pretty face. She does not speak, but the movements of her dainty fingers through my hair encourage me to continue. "I have ordered the death of many, and have taken two lives with my own hands." An ache forms behind my eyes and I feel a strange sort of regret, not for the lives lost at my doing, but for fear of my sis's reaction. Would she reject me, like Ursula? How would I react to such a fate? I'm not sure I could bear it. I'm not sure that I could accept it at all.

As if sensing my distress, Lucretzia pulls me against her petit body, embracing me. I bury my face in her hair and her arms grip the back of my robes comfortingly. Her young breasts are soft against my chest, her womanly gowns hiding much from sight, but not from the touch of two bodies pressed up against one another. I wonder idly if she has ever _felt_ my body betray me, in moments like these. The thought makes me shudder.

"You still take me for a child, Cesare." Her words are so ridiculous I nearly have to restrain my bitter laughter. "You do what you must to protect your family. To protect me." I hold my sister out at arm's length.

"I would kill for you. Anyone you asked." I say earnestly.

Her smile is brighter than a thousand suns. "I know, brother, and that is why I feel safe in your arms." _But how can one feel safe in the arms of a killer?_

I marvel at my sweet sister, still so young and yet forced to endure matters beyond her years. I pull her back against me, wishing to forever remember her like this, beautiful, happy, and still her heart altogether _mine_, with no longer any husband nor groom between us.

I wish that it could stay that way, for all of eternity. There has nothing I have ever wanted more than to see her smile, and nothing I've wanted less than for that smile to be for another man. _He boasts of the cravings of his heart; he blesses the greedy and reviles the lord._

"Cesare? You tremble…"

_Do I?_

I force a laugh and remove myself from her hair. "It is cold out here." I say as explanation. "Let us go inside, or we may both catch our deaths. Or, worse, only you."

* * *

"Sometimes I feel as though you're hiding something from me, Cesare." My heart beats erratically in my chest. "Something important." She adds.

I swallow. "And what would I have to hide from you, dear sister?"

Lucretzia's face scrunches up. "Nothing, that's what I want you to understand, dear brother." She grabs my left hand, touching the fingers lightly and examining them absentmindedly. "You don't have to hide from me." She places a chaste kiss upon the tip of each of my fingers. Every touch of her lips sets my nerves afire, and I stop breathing reflexively. It's as if my fingers each have a direct tether to my groin, each kiss causing a torturous pulsing sensation. I wonder if she knows how close I've come to damning us both.

A yawn escapes her throat. "Brother, will you stay beside me while I fall asleep? Nursing seems to make me awfully tired." I nod, "That is why father insists on the wet nurse, sis, so that you might still have the energy to live your day."

She pulls away the covers and settles beneath the sheets while I remain sitting stiffly on the edge of the bed. I feel a tug at my arm. She's smiling, "Come on then, like when we were children?" She pleads, tugging again and gesturing to the spot beside her. My hands unconsciously twist the bed sheets in their grip. "That was because you had nightmares, Lucretzia."

"Please, brother? It _is_ cold out tonight."

I shouldn't even consider it. _But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed._ How could I deny her anything? "Yes, sister." I murmur, feigning annoyance, though she would never believe it. I cannot hide from her; not for very long, at least.

Her body is warm against my own, I wrap my arms around it, clutching my prize tightly to my chest as her breathing slows and her eyes see no more in this night. In her sleep, I am able to let my mind wander freely to impure places, for no one is watching but God. She cannot hear my breathing pick up speed of its own accord, or feel the unabashed hardness of my manhood. I limit my hands to her waist and her hair, running my fingers through the latter and inhaling its scent as I please. She smells sweet, like juniper berries.

There is an old saying that if it pleases you, it must be sinful, for how could anything but God please you without sin? It pleased me to kill those men threatening my family. It pleases me to see my sister laugh. It pleases me to imagine beating the lowly groom she shared carnal pleasure with. It pleases me most to have her, here, next to me at night, in her bed, feeling her soft body against mine. _Forgive me father, for I have sinned._

"I need not the forgiveness of God, sweet sister." I whisper into the dead, blackness of night. "I have you." My arm around her waist tightens. "God will not forgive me my sins; they are too many and too deadly." I place kisses upon her soft hair. "_You_ are my gateway to eternal Eden, Lucretzia.

You are my salvation, and my one and my only hope."

* * *

**AN: So, I just started watching The Borgias, so I'm a bit late to the party. I've just finished Season 1, and Lucretzia and Cesare? Oh my. This has got to be one of the best pairings I've ever seen, and I'm kind of new to the world of incest, having only encountered it in cannon Game of Thrones + Vampire Knight and Phineaus and Ferb FF (I know, kind of weird). Their relationship is so deep, and complicated. Innocent and yet not at the same time.**

**In short, I was inspired. I plan on writing another passage when I finish Season 2 and then likely the last when I finish Season 3.**

**I'm rating this story M, though I want to stick to the story line for this one because I plan on writing after each Season, it is likely that heaps and heaps of lemons will be at the conclude of this series regardless of what Season 3 ends their relationship on.**

**Tell me how I did and I'll love you forever! Much love-Midden.**


	2. Chapter 2- My Sweet

**My Sweet**

_Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins._

_**1 Peter 4:8**_

"Cesare, let me _go_!" She squeals.

"_Never_." I growl, pulling her back onto the bed. I grin, "You will not deny me this, sweet sister." and brace myself above her, locking her in place. My face falls, "I thought that I would lose you…Do you have any idea what that did to me?" I look into wide blue eyes. Eyes that know not what I was capable of the moment Cardinal Sforza told me my family was in danger of losing their lives.

If it is possible to go mad and come back from it, back to some semblance of sanity in just one night, then I believe that is what's happened to me. I felt myself an animal; a rabid dog hell-bent on the destruction of all who seek to tear my family from me. To take my sister away from me.

Killing such vermin required no thought and prompted no fear of consequence.

Death was far too kind a fate for them.

There is a crack of thunder, then the hum of steady rain above us. _Some say the rain is God weeping for his lost souls._

I sigh, my eyes drifting down my sister's face, settling on her full, pink lips. "I beg of you, Lucretzia." She opens her mouth to speak, but I quickly place a single finger over her mouth and it pops closed. "I quelled _your_ nightmares when you were a child. Sung you songs until you stopped fretting." I tease, moving my hand to touch her golden hair. "Ease my mind, sister. Stay with me."

It is the last thing I should be asking of her. To stay the night in my bed when Rome already whispers of the Borgia siblings. Gossip goes much farther than fact, with some even claiming young Giovanni to be mine rather than a nameless peasant. Blatant lies made intriguing with sparse facts. All of Rome knows we are close, the speculation, and the scandal, however, lies in just how close.

Lucretzia smiles and I know I've won. "Am I to sing _you_ a song, brother?" I roll so that I lay beside her and prop my head up on my hand to see her beauty better. She turns toward me, lower lip captured by her teeth. The sight is both cruel and wonderful. I swallow, "Only if you wish, sis." She looks up, as if considering, and then shakes her head. "I'm not sure you've earned it, Cesare."

I laugh. "_Oh?_ And what must I do to earn your pearly voice?" My sister reaches out and traces my jaw with her delicate hand, brushing against the rough hairs there for lack of shaving. My skin heats at her touch, my heat jumping uncertainly in its cage. "Promise me something, brother."

"Anything."

The fingers of her hand curl slightly, away from my skin and she hesitates before she speaks. "Promise me…to show—restraint, when it comes to my future husband, Alfonso." I narrow my eyes, attempting to restrain myself now, as suspicion sends fire through my veins. My jaw tightens. "…Do I have reason to restrain myself, sister?" She shakes her head yet again, a cautious smile gracing her features. "No, of course not. _He_ is a perfect gentleman." She giggles, tapping my nose with her finger. "I just mean…_if_ things should—if anything should happen, I merely wish you to speak with me before you act."

It shouldn't come as a surprise. That she doesn't trust me with anyone's but her own life. Still, it is—uncomfortable, that she would speak so frankly about the very real possibility of harm coming to her husband at my—her brother's—hands. _You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel._ I sigh, "If that is your wish." I turn so that I lie on my back.

Lucretzia crawls next to me, nuzzling into my side. "It is." A tiny hand clutches to my side. "And because I wish it, I shall have it." She looks up at me, "Isn't that right, brother?"

There is something strange in the way she looks at me now, tame words contrasting with the spark in her eyes. A challenge?

I place a kiss upon her hair. "You _are_ a Borgia. My own flesh and blood…How could I say no to you?" Lucretzia leans down and places a kiss on my chest in turn. And then another, slightly higher. And another, higher still…Her lips feather the hollow of my throat, I inhale sharply, and in panic, my hands find themselves twisted in her hair, gripping too tightly and she cries out. "_Brother_." She whimpers. I let go immediately, staring at my trembling hand as if it would tell me how it committed such a traitorous act. _I've hurt her._

"What were you _doing_, Lucretzia?" I breathe out shakily, sitting up. In doing so, inadvertently causing Lucretzia's head to fall into my lap, golden waves splayed about her like a halo. Her voice is innocent enough, "Have I done something wrong, Cesare?" I listen to the thumping of my own heart, a beat that seems to cause my entire being to throb. It seems laughable to deny it to myself now…and it is not her fault, my reaction to her. It is a sin of my own devices, a lust that I fashioned for my sister out of love. _No, she cannot be held responsible for my own desires._

"No. Nothing wrong, dear sister." I pull her hand up to my lips and kiss it. "Forgive me."

She smiles, settling back to the spot next to me, pulling me down to lie next to her again. "You are forgiven, brother…always."

Perhaps I am wrong. Not only for loving my sister, but also for assuming she loves me in any way different. Thoughts such as these are dangerous. There is too much hope in them, where there should be none. I feel addicted to her. To everything about her. Like a lovesick puppy I spend my sleepless nights wishing her beside me, and spend those few precious nights she is beside me, awake, unwilling to throw away any of the time we spend together in sleep. There can be nothing between us, for both our sakes. I fear it would not only send us to the flames of hell, but also to madness.

* * *

Something is different about her. It is undeniable. She is fierce, and grows fiercer every day. I feel that we are becoming more alike. My young sister seems to grow cooler towards those around her, calculating, like an owl in the night ready to devour the field mouse. She is no longer naïve about the art of war, or the art of marriage.

"Do you love him?" I ask, sipping wine out of a goblet, the metal sparkling in the light of the fire. I don't look at her face.

"I think I could love him, yes."

I down the rest of my drink, setting it down on the small round table and move to stand out on the balcony, looking out on our fair city and seeing nothing that could compare with the beauty behind me. "How much could you love him?" I murmur, striving to keep any misguided tone of accusation out of my voice.

I hear her move towards me from behind, and it crosses my mind, not for the first time, that it was inappropriate for Lucretzia to feel comfortable only in her underclothes around me. Her small arms encircle my waist and a smile is coaxed from my lips. "Never as much as I _already_ love my brother." She assures, stunning me yet again, with how well she hears what is not said. Still, her answer does little to comfort me.

"That is not the same love, sis." I remove her hands from my waist and turn around to see her rolling her eyes towards the heavens.

She moves towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder, shaking lightly. "Would you not die for me, Cesare? Would you not wish to see me grow old and die happy?"

"Of course I would." I scoff.

"If my Alfonso is any kind of man—and I believe that he is, he will want the same. He will protect me and love me, just as you do, and—"

"—He will also share your bed." I blurt out the words before I think of their meaning, the suggestion that comes along with pointing out such a fact. _Whosever looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart._ Do I look at my sister in such a way? She stops short, her mouth hanging open for a moment before closing and her giving assent with a small nod.

"He will." She agrees. I nod, trying to accept these new facts of our life as well as possible. "But—" She continues, "Is that not what you will do, with your future wife?" She shouldn't feel the need to justify lying with her husband to me. And I certainly shouldn't feel that I need her to, regardless.

I sigh, "I do not want a wife, you know that, sis."

"And I didn't want a husband." She replies swiftly. "But we are Borgias, the family of 'His Holiness', the Pope of Rome, and we have duties."

"The only duty that matters is mine to you." I declare, pulling my sister into an entrapping hug. I kiss her forehead, closing my eyes and imagining, just for a moment, that I could steal my sweet sister away from Rome and keep her all to myself. I allow myself this dangerous fantasy: just the two of us—and little Giovanni, living as man and wife, somewhere far away from all the swill of this poisonous and fair city. "Just say the word and I'll take you away from the danger and the duty of this place. I could keep you safe, I could keep you _happy_."

I feel a tear sliding down my neck and I'm not certain whether it comes from her eyes or mine. "I do not deserve such a loving brother." Lucretzia breathes, her words floating to tickle my ears, making me shiver.

"And I do not deserve such a sweet sister."

* * *

**AN: Takes place after all that junk in 3x01. I'm already on 3x05, and I've got to say, I'm impressed with the writers being so straightforward with Lucretzia and Cesare. Suuuper excited to write more of them. Prolly more than the three chapters I had planned. Might do one before the season finale.**

**PS: I'm not sure if anyone who reads this story reads any of my other stuff, but the reason I havens been posting in my other stories is that my life is pretty damn busy right now, and these chapters are just so easy to write. It's kind of relaxing. And I need that right now.**


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